So, why can’t you buy a barber’s chair that lasts forever? 
 
The simple answer?… 
 
Because you don’t want to. 
 
I was in a factory and I said to the manager, “why can’t you build me a barber’s chair which lasts for 20 years?” 
 
He replied, “you don’t want me to. I could build you that chair. A chair which lasts 20 years but you don’t want me to. 
You want a chair which will last 1 to 5 years, so you can go back and sell another chair. Why would you kill your business by selling all your customers something which serves them for 20 years?!” 
 
Now, here comes the revelation… 
 
Relationships are the same. They aren’t built to last anymore because we don’t want them to. 
 
My parents are approaching 60 years of marriage. Their relationship was forged in a time when we built stuff to last. 
We all took the decision to end that. 
 
The average length of a marriage in the UK is 12 years. 
 
So, what are we doing wrong? Or right? 
 
Brace yourself, this is potentially going to get uncomfortable… 
 
We idealise love!! 
 
The culture of the Western world puts love and romance at the very centre of our lives. We read romance, chick-lit and erotica which says love always prevails. We watch rom-coms and romances which tell us that love is glittery and sparkly and strong and perfect. We are duped into thinking it should always be like that. 
 
So, what do we do when we think we are being denied the sparkle? We change the other character in our story. 
 
We throw things away!! 
 
We are a disposable society. We throw stuff away and buy new stuff all the time (remember the barber’s chair?). We have come to accept landfills full of perfectly functioning stuff because we want the newest, the latest, the shiny stuff. 
 
So, what do we do when our relationship loses its shine? We put a shiny new character in our story. 
 
We think the grass is greener!! 
 
The grass is greener is perpetuated by society. We are constantly sold an idea of perfection. Perfect bodies, perfect home, perfect car, perfect phone- we need all these to be happy, don’t we? We know where perfect is and it is just over the fence. 
 
So, what do we do when the grass is clearly greener? We go mow our new lawn. 
 
When we feel life is not working for us, we look at our lifestyle to make changes. The problem is we look in the wrong place. We look at our life partner with a view to throwing them away and getting a new one. What we should be doing is have our life partner stood alongside us and we look together at the landscape of our life. 
 
Relationships have to withstand immense pressure from life. We batter them daily with the sledgehammer of temptation and the smorgasbord of life choices. 
 
If you want to repair, reinforce, refurbish or evaluate your relationship. If you want to end your relationship without both of you getting destroyed in the process, message me today, now and let me help you. 
 
 
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